Tuesday, 27 March 2012

The 'gym' problem

I'm on one today.....
So here's my deal with the gym. EVERYTHING.
Don't get me wrong, i love the gym. I love my training, its like my little escape from the real world where i can pretend that what i'm doing is actually making a difference. But what i don't enjoy is the people in the gym. YOU RUIN MY EXPERIENCE. 
I'll start with the ladies:
Some ladies in the gym are lovely and are there, like me, to exercise. Some of you however, NEED TO RETHINK YOUR MEMBERSHIP! It is not possible to be in the gym with a full face of make up and your hair done all perfect. It's just not right. But i suppose for you it's okay because you wouldn't know what a bead of sweat was if it squeezed itself out of your foundation clogged pores. These girls don't come on their own either, they come in pairs and they'll normally be walking on a treadmill at a slow enough pace so that they can still carry on a conversation. What is with that? oh i know....IT'S POINTLESS BEHAVIOUR! I'm there sweating my arse off getting my moneys worth and you are there annoying me. Shame. On. You. 
The other type of lady that gets on my wick in the gym is the super competitive one. Wowza. There are some girls in the gym that for some reason take it upon themselves to compete with me. And i have no idea why! I am not interested on whether you can do things better than me. I'm not gonna come over and shake your hand and slowly applaud you whilst you stand there arm across chest whilst the gym plays the national anthem over the speaker. Its just never going to happen because quite frankly i couldn't give a shit. So when your eyes are burning into me waiting for my reaction....ill probably look at you and smile. Because THAT WILL REALLY ANNOY YOU! 

Okay..now the fellas.
You bunch are about 25% of the reason i go to the gym because i'll not deny it.. I loooooovvveeee to watch boys flex their muscles and get a bit sweaty. It makes my day complete. But when these meat heads get together the amount of testosterone that fills the gym is so much that even i can feel a beard starting to grow. I mean seriously...Its tooooo much. And after every few reps they check themselves out in the mirror and look round to see who's looking at them. I get that you work hard for your amazing body but guys...no one likes a guy who's head is so far up his own arse that they just go full circle. And then if you try and strike up a conversation with any of you, you then learn that the reason your body is so beautiful is because you were born without a brain. And it's upsetting and dream wrecking. FALSE ADVERTISING! 
Now the other guys in the gym are the guys who want to be like these massive posing gimps. These come in groups of 5 or more and train pathetically. They also like to make me feel like i'm at risk of a gang rape at any moment. If you want to stare, fine. But please do it in a way that i am unaware you are doing so. Thanks so much. 

So yeh...2 rants in one day...you lucky buggers. 

nice to TWEET you 


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